By Terry Worthley and Dave Reed
We’ve all been through it. For whatever particular instance in the myriad of reasons, you are now joining the rank and file of those looking to buy a hose. You are no longer well-mounted on ol’Apache (or ol’ Blue, Mariah, Star, Buddy, Chip or Thunder, as the case may be). You are embarking on that incredible journey through the maze of conformation, soundness, aesthetics, affordability and performance criteria. Having personally undergone the journey a total of 24 times, I have had the benefit of amassing a wealth of experience and information on the subject.
What follows is a sort of handy pocket guide of terms common to the business of buying and selling horses.
I hope you will find this information helpful and I sincerely wish you luck in your quest for the ideal mount!
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What the ad reads or the person says ... |
What it REALLY means ... |
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60 days’ training |
still can’t be ridden |
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A free spirit |
look out |
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Adult lead line prospect |
walk-trot potential |
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Always in the ribbons |
lead line (everybody gets ribbons) |
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Broke to harness |
don’t try riding this one |
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Clean-legged |
in races horses, s l o w |
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Easy keeper |
so thin you cut yourself on protruding hipbones |
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Excellent barn manners |
is at least 28 years old |
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Excellent bloodlines |
has hopped fence and is bred to full brother |
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Excellent conformation |
nuts; killed 3 men |
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Excellent on trails |
ring sour |
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Experienced rider |
idiot wanted; so you think you’re good? |
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Experienced riders only |
you’re the last stop before the killers |
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Experienced team roper |
aged; never in the money |
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Family horse |
has been around the block with 4H kids who are now card bearing AARP members |
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Five-gaited |
look out |
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Free lease |
this horse has enough medical problems, feed supplements, a special diet and corrective shoeing that you'll need to second mortgage your house |
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Futurity winner |
wealthy, politically connected owner |
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Great personality |
does not show or trail ride |
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Great potential |
we can’t do anything with him |
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Green |
12 years old and still nuts |
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Good pony |
an oxymoron |
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Kid-proof/ |
is at least 30 years old |
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Lots of hock action |
stringhalt |
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Loves kids |
eats one a week |
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Needs finishing |
a runaway; make an offer |
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Ninth in the Nation |
you weren’t aware of the “registered, 1/4 Haflinger, 1/4 Appaloosa, 9/16 Peruvian-Paso, Morab on the Flat-and-Crossrails Division?” |
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No voices, sound |
see what you get when you get home that the owner never noticed |
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Outgrown rider |
real old, sour, cranky-eared, snotty, barn sour, colicky, foundered, cribbing pony |
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Personality plus |
lawn ornament |
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Potential for distance/endurance competition |
wild-eyed, stall-destroying lunatic |
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Professionally trained |
has been owned by and injured 5 other people |
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Ridden by our 8 year old, or ladies mount |
man hater; almost always an out-of-state sale |
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Sadly, must sell — college bound |
a real bronc someone owned for three weeks |
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Started on the flat |
never finished |
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Talented |
Can buck uphill with a sure-stop head basked and tie down |
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Three-gaited |
walk, trot and stumble |
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To go home only |
obviously a bona fide horse dealer |
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Trailers well |
is at least 24 years old or is a veteran traveler to vet clinics |
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Very athletic |
just plain nuts |
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Very willing |
willing to let you chase him around the pasture for a couple of hours |
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Video available |
you can’t afford this one! |
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Will deliver |
you guessed it — can’t load or ride in trailer |
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Draft Horses |
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A willing team |
one is willing to pull and the other is willing to let him |
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Matched pair |
both runaways |
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